Society’s widespread trivialization of obsessive-compulsive disorder has led many to believe that the risk of suicide in people with OCD is low. This is far from the truth. In fact, according to the International OCD Foundation, about two thirds of individuals with OCD have experienced suicidal ideation. One study claims that the risk of suicidality in individuals with OCD is ten times higher than that of the general population. If that doesn’t tell you how severe OCD can be, I don’t know what will.
Therefore, it’s very important for mental health providers to monitor their OCD patients closely when it comes to thoughts of suicide. If you are a loved one of someone with OCD, here are some warning signs that your loved one may be thinking of suicide:
- Expressing that they see no way out of their situation
- Giving away belongings, updating one’s will, etc.
- Drastic behavior changes
- Engaging in reckless behavior with little concern for the consequences
- Suddenly going from being extremely sad and anxious to calm
If you are worried that a loved one may be considering suicide, ask them. It will not put the thought in their head. Tell them you love them and care about them, and listen to what they have to say. If they are at risk of harming themselves, contact your local suicide hotline or go to the emergency room.
If you have OCD and experience suicidal ideation, you are not alone.
Below is a personal account of one of our authors who has dealt with suicidal ideation:
Suicide is a taboo topic, for obvious reasons. I find this completely understandable as I, myself, have dealt with an array of reactions and responses upon sharing my own experiences with suicidal ideation. It seems to go one of two ways most of the time; either people are visibly made uncomfortable by the topic and shy away almost completely, or they are overwhelmed by pity and immediately attempt to comfort you. Of course, everyone is entitled to approach difficult topics however they see fit, but I can attest to the fact that anyone sharing their experience with anything having to do with suicide likely just wants to be listened to and made to feel human. Due to the extremity of the topic, those I’ve shared with have occasionally made me feel as though I was immediately packed away neatly into a certain box, or that I was suddenly being framed in an entirely different light. The truth is that yes, I have had several moments in my life where I thought that to take my own life was the only way out, but also that I mustered up the courage and strength in some of my weakest moments to push past that feeling. For that, I think I deserve some recognition and maybe even a pat on the back rather than surface level condolences or uncomfortable glares.
OCD is insanely difficult to live with at times. It can make you feel like you’re completely alone and that you always will be. The obsessions can become so overwhelming and the compulsions so frequent that it feels like OCD is living your life for you. OCD can take you to some very dark places, and speaking from experience, it can feel like there will never be an escape or a light at the end of the tunnel. Speaking from further experience, I can tell you that the blanket of darkness that OCD can throw over your entire life and identity cannot and will not last forever. You can break free of the negative feedback loops, take your life back and feel like yourself again. I promise that you can get back to a place where you are living your life with OCD just buzzing around in the background like a ridiculously irritating fruit fly.
Suicidal thoughts are not something to be ashamed of. They do not make you weak, and they do not take away from your character or detract from all of the amazing qualities that make up your identity. Much like OCD, they can be something that seems outside of your control. If you feel like suicide is your only way out, you should talk to someone. It will feel uncomfortable and it may be extremely difficult to bring up, but letting someone into the darkness opens up a space for some light and positivity to enter too.
I want to conclude by saying that though I have had some very hard moments in my life, largely thanks to OCD, I am in a much better place now. So if you take anything from this account of my experience, take me as a living example that you can overcome the most intense struggles and the darkest days. I am nothing special— I’m no mentally stronger than anyone else living with OCD everyday. I simply chose to believe that life has to get better. And it does.
Remember, you’ve survived every single one of your toughest days so far. If you keep pushing, there will be less and less of them to overcome.
Maya Tadross and Sam Cartwright
Co-Authors
